Used to love
by Sora Seishin
Summary: Vaughn used to love Lauren, but now he would have to kill her.


_Alias and their characters belong to ABC and J.J. Abrams.  
This is a translation of my fanfiction "Costumava Amar", originally published in Portuguese._

**Used to love**

**_I used to love her, but I had to kill her  
_- Guns'n'Roses**

* * *

In that dark room, even if she could scream, no one could hear her desperation. Just sultry noises came out of her mouth, covered by a piece of black cloth. If she could move, she wouldn't have where to run to. But she only twisted herself, sitting in the rotten wood chair, with strings surrounding her feet and hands. The blue eyes, revealing fear, were staring at the one that kept her that way. The one that before was her husband, the one that she had promised to love until death would turn them apart. That day became closer as the minutes went by.

He was in front of her, sitting in the ground and leaned in the wall, with his usual grey suit getting the dust that remained in that place. In the right hand, there was a gun, that he rolled between his fingers as it were an inofensible toy. He supported the left elbow in his knee and held his head. He didn't want to look at her.

"Why, Lauren... Why did you lie to me?"

She wanted to say she was sorry, that they made her do that, but she could only move her head. And even if she could talk, she knew Michael would never believe her. When he asked her how had been her day, and she had just kissed him, he discovered the whole truth. That she was lying.

"I used to love you. Did you know that? Did you know that I wished to spent my whole life with you?"

She knew. She wanted that too, but the god damned job got in the way. She liked her job. She liked to play on both sides, helping the Covenant and the CIA. She wanted Vaughn to understand it, that he'd made that game with her. But he was too good. He would never betray his country.

"When I thought Sidney was dead, you were the only person that got me out of the depression I was feeling. You gave me a reason to live."

Sidney Bristow. Lauren knew that she still loved him, that he would always love her, that they were made to each other. Michael didn't belong to her, but to Sidney. But he married her.

"And then you betrayed me, and your country. You took from me my strength, my trust, my willing to believe."

Lauren couldn't refute that. That was the truth, and just that. When she accepted to be a double agent, she knew she'd have to spy Vaughn, that she'd have to lie to him and to everyone that believed in her.

"And your father, Lauren?", Michael said, getting up to slowly as if he carried the world in his back. "You killed him, didn't you? Just so I could come back to you!"

Yes. Lauren turned down her eyes, feeling embarrassed. She had killed her father in cold blood, so that Michael could be with her. She knew that he had a soft heart. But he didn't feel like that right now. His eyes were red from the anger and pain, and the veins in his arms were clear. The before couple's hearts were beating faster and faster, in a confuse mixture of hate and fear.

He left the security locker of the gun with a finger, and pushed it against her head.

"Damned, Lauren! I have no way out here, can't you see it? If I don't kill you…" He moved down his head, hiding the tears, just to look again at her. "If I don't kill you, they will do it! How do you prefer to die? Answer me!"

He put down the gun and held her head with his left hand, to observe her face, covered in tears. Her eyes were open, asking, begging for him to don't do this. She knew she was going to be killed anyway; there was no way to escape after what she had done. But she preferred to be shot by a crowd of unknown ones than be killed by her husband.

Vaughn looked at her. All the happy moments that they had gone through together passed through his mind, in a memories flash. He nodded his head, to put away those thoughts, and got up again, pointing her the gun.

"I'm sorry, Lauren… But I have to kill you."

He closed his eyes. She moved in the chair. She wanted to scream, to cry for help, but she couldn't even try. In less than a second, Michael pulled the trigger and the bullet fired off, penetrating her brain and filling the room with blood. Lauren's body fell inert in the chair, with open eyes wide and a hole in the middle of her forehead.

The room became darker. Vaughn threw himself to the ground, to the same corner he had sit before, with his hands between his hands, crying. He could hear the sound of police sirens coming from somewhere out there. Soon they would be here and arrest him for murder, and he knew he would go without a fight. There wasn't a reason to live no more. He was a killer now and he knew that. Even Sidney, that loved him since the day they first met, would never forgive him for such a cruel act. He threw the gun ahead, and it hit Lauren's foot, attached to the chair. And he just waited, sitting in that dark room, for his sentence.


End file.
